When you date a guy who earns much more than you, is it the norm to expect him to pick up the tab sometimes?

Question

He has a six-figure income, while I'm working at a nonprofit and barely making ends meet. I always put out cash when the bill arrives and he takes the money. WIth my friends and other dates who don't even make that much, they'll be more generous and treat me from time to time by insisting that I put my money back. This man never does that. Other than this, everything else about the relationship is fine.

Answer 1

This is a symptom of bigger issues to follow if you don't deal with this up front. Talk to him about your and his expectations and try to reach a point where they are mutually acceptable. If he's cheap about dinner now, think about how he'll be later with important stuff!

Answer 2

Are the dutch dates putting a strain on your finances? Or are you just wondering if he's a tightwad? He may think he's not being overbearing by insisting on paying, who knows? Maybe he's a little offended you offer money each time. Talk to him!



Are you engaged as your screen name hints? If so, DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN UNTIL YOU TALK ABOUT MONEY. Sorry for shouting, but if you don't settle this issue now, it will probably cause problems down the road.

Answer 3

Ok If you have been dating this guy for nine months, no matter who makes the money he should ALWAYS pick up the tab. I understand the woman picking it up if she asked the guy out but Im somewhat of a traditional southern girl and I say the man should open the door, pull out the chair and of course PICK UP THE STINKING TAB. Think about what he will want you to pay for if you move in with him. Ask him whats up?

Answer 4

If the girl made a 6 figure income and the guy was in non profit, SHE should pick up the tab, too. So yes, my answer is yes. Maybe making his girlfriends pay all the time helped him get so much money??

Answer 5

Ok heres the Scoop from a guy. First how long have you been seeing this guy, is it serious. If you guys are serious and both feel the same way he will want to pay for everything. i dont make six figures but i always want to pay for my lady, but it cant happen all the time. So if he wants to just let him but i do see your point so good Luck

Answer 6

Personally, I think he's trying to make a point and let you know that he disagree with the "norm" which implies he should pay. In other words, he's showing you that he won't comprimise just b/c it's the RIGHT THING TO DO....and more than likely doesn't really care enough about you to even wonder if you have the funds to cover the meal.

Answer 7

Well, if you asked him out and you suggested the restaurant then I would expect you to pay. On the other hand if it's entirely his choice and he planned it, then he should pay up. But since you said he has a six-figure income and you barely make enough to survive, have him cough up the dough. If not, move on. He's clearly a tight-***.

Answer 8

I'm at a non-profit, too, and my boyfriend makes much more than me, so he picks up the tab. I say thank you, and treat him once in awhile if I have the money, or surprise him by baking something, but if I made more than him, I would pick up the tab. Sounds like when you get married, he's going to have the outlook of "what's her's is mine, and what's mine is mine."

Answer 9

There's a couple of options here. One is that he's just a flat out cheapskate...if that's the case then you need to decide if you can life with that long-term. If not, cut your losses now and move on. There's also the chance that he's just plain clueless. So, the next time he suggests going out to eat just flat out tell him that you can't afford it and see how he reacts.

Answer 10

If you aren't serious about this person, I would remain just friends or stop dealing with him altogether... sounds like he has bigger issues brewing. But, stop offering up money to pay the bill and see what happens.

Answer 11

well, I believe in equality in a relationship, and I feel that if my man noticed I was broke he would jump at the chance to invite me places that cost money, but I wouldn't expect him to pay each and every time of course just cause he has more money than me, that's a tuffy it depends on how else he makes things up to you, and makes you happy-not monetarily

Answer 12

Why do you offer to pay. Let him pay and see what happens. My boyfriend and I split the cost, every other time I pay or whoever has money at the time pays. Tell him to stop being cheap.

Answer 13

I think yes the guy is traditional suppose to pay but who really does thing traditional these days. in my experience the guy pays and sometimes i would to make it far you both have jobs and bills it's only fair

Answer 14

If he asks you for the date He pays. If you ask to go on the date you pay.

Answer 15

I thought the guy was always supposed to pay. I've been jipped!

Answer 16

NO you are such a gold digger